Restless Heart Syndrome

Well here I am again, who actually reads this anyway? Eh well first of all I wanted to thank Dave, cause ya know he's helped me a lot in these past uhh i gues hour and a half maybe? Well actually he's been helping me longer than that but I mean like for this past hour he's just been the best ahaha. He's helped me keep my spirit up and i'm greatful that I have such good friends like him to help meh. I think I've cried harder this past hour than I have in my whole life time. Of course thats a very dramatic exaggeration but it's what it feels like to me. I'm so lost right now, broken it almost feels like, I hope I can gather up all the peices again before I lose them all completley. I don't want to lose myself to this person I can't. I wont. This hurts me so much because I feel as if I've been giving my all to them and I just get stomped on and I give in to my emotions and lose control. They have so much control over me, it's scary. I need to get out of this but and the same time, part of me doesn't want to. I hate myself for being so weak like this, I'm just a doormat, always have, always will be